The Mysterious Disappearing Tip

Posted on September 5, 2003

Neona wrote: I have been happily divorced for about six years now. I get alot of IMs from just having an AOL profile that lists me as "female" and under marital status I have written "occupied" (I am seeing someone). I love the IMs that start with something about how big their dick is, like I really care! I heard from a "Dentest" (his spelling, not mine) in NY, he sent me a nude pic. I thought he was cute and told him I wished my DDS was so cute. He responded with "What's a DDS?" I guess its not the same thing as a "Dentest." I will spare you some of the other lame ones I hear from and never meet. I would rather share an actual dating experience. I had been emailing the guy for about six weeks and we agreed it was time to meet. We talked on the phone a few times the week of the date. The man shows up to take me to Mystery Dinner Theater in tee shirt and blue jeans (I wore a nice dress and heels). The waitress explains the portions are very large, so he orders one plate (steak dinner) and an extra baked potato. When the dinner arrives he cuts the steak and gives me the smaller portion and the end with the most fat. He could've at the very least been a gentleman and asked me which half I wanted! The food was actually very good. The show was great. At intermission the waitress gave us the check. He paid it and laid a five dollar bill for a tip on the table. The lights went off and came back on (part of the show) and what do you know, the five dollar bill is missing! I ask him what happened to it and he pulls it out of his pocket and lays it back on the table. I think I forgot to mention, all through dinner and the show the guy had a nervous habit of picking at the acne on his face. ICK! At the end of the show, I am the only one in the place to figure out the mystery. Yet all the way back home this guy is bragging about how he figured it out! Back at my car (I wouldn't let him pick me up at home), his goodnight kiss is more like a tonsilectomy and his hands are everywhere they shouldn't be! We had been talking for weeks on email and he knew that I am not into sex on the first date. I expressed this to him here and he said "I thought you would make an exception for me", that's what they all say! Once I pryed myself out of his vice like embrace, I was gone. He called the next day and talked like we had the best time of our lives. His life maybe... but I have better things to do with my time.

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